That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
