So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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