Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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