Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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