apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
