he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
