Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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