I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
