what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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