After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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