Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
