You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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