yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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