totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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