you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
