This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
