I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
