i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Drunk is not a location!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
