I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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