bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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