I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
