Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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