oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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