So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
