I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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