Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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