i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
