I got chris browned last night
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
