My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
