Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
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