So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize