Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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