there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
