i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
