But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
