would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
