Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
