Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize