some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
