WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize