Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
