You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
