Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Everclear isn't food dammit
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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