and you said cock pushups were impossible
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
