Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
