I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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