this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
