She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
