She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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