Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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