they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
