she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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