so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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