I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize