South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
