does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize