Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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