the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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