Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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