STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
