I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
