How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
