I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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