my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
