Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
