I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
